Ciao kiddos, and welcome to The Random Thoughts of A Socially-Awkward Optimist! Please, do scroll around and enjoy your stay. And while you're here, perhaps we could enjoy some virtual drinks together?
Quote of The Moment
"It's okay, we can work with this!"
- Deckard Wizard (Bee and Puppycat)
Hello hello, I am back after a lonnggg time without posting lol. But now I'm back in business, and will work this blog back into shape (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑ Right now I'm almost three months post high school graduation, and am l i v i ng l i f e. Definitely not planted in front of a screen playing Harvest Moon all day. Nope haha *sweats*
Also, I just turned eighteen! Perhaps "just turned" isn't accurate though... More like, I turned eighteen almost two months ago lol. But the thing is, it doesn't feel any different from when I was a year or two younger. Does that make any sense?
Usually when a girl turns eighteen here in my country ("experiencing legality", as they call it), you get asked the obligatory "Oh, so how does it feel to be eighteen?", or at least something along those lines. I don't know, but ~being an adult~ is such a big deal apparently.
When I was a kid, eighteen certainly seemed old. Being eighteen meant going to college (which was wayyy down the road for my just-turned-grade-one self). It meant having more responsibilities, harder schoolwork, being unable to act like like the child that I was, and being a little closer to death.
I was always uncomfortable with the idea of growing older. Back then, I'd see adults stressing over finances and jobs, and it was all scary. But then again, what child wouldn't dread facing those challenges? That certainly is a justifiable fear. I think any kid would choose playtime over taxes any day. And the way college students would warn me about the terrors of higher education did not help at all.
Looking back to all that, I suppose everything I thought would happen was rather accurate. Yes, as an eighteen year old I'm now going to college. I certainly have had much harder schoolwork (calculus was the death of me), and I'm expected to act my age and be mature.
Perhaps the reason why I still feel like the same old me a couple years ago is because change tends to find its way into our lives in trickles and rivulets. Just like how you wouldn't see immediate changes in a growing plant, you wouldn't really sense big changes in your life until you look back to where you came from.
Except college. You don't slowly realize you are going to college/university. Reality just hits you in the face one day, and you feel this deep pit in your stomach that you won't experience life like it is now ever again. That's how I felt. With all my friends and I parting ways, and especially since we're going to different colleges, it suddenly feels quite lonely. Knowing that I will never be able to experience going to school with the people that made it fun is a reality I'd have to learn to live with.
Thought I guess that is part of being eighteen. And after all of these things, perhaps now I realize that I wasn't afraid of growing older and facing the world— it's that I was afraid of growing up and moving on to something new.
Of course, it'd be rather lonely to part ways with your friends. It'd be lonely (and scary) to face new challenges and take on new responsibilities in new places with new people. When you're already comfortable, it's hard to push yourself to accept sudden changes in life.
At end of the day, there isn't much I can do to make the world bend to my will. Sometimes life just sucks— there are no words I can use to make that sound any prettier. You feel alone, you feel like you're growing old, and you feel like your existence is a mere speck in the universe. In any case, I'm here to tell y'all that it's okay to feel that way. I feel that way too sometimes. We all have our bad days, and sulking and feeling bad is a valid reaction.
Turning eighteen and graduating from high school made me appreciate all the things I missed from it. What can I say, I'm a sentimental clod ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
To be frank, I'm not entirely over high school. Since I haven't started college yet, a good chunk my time is spent mulling over the future and what'll happen to my friends (and myself). Will I be a good adult? Am I ready to face the world? Will I survive college? Will my crush ever like me back?
Well, that's the current state of my turning-eighteen-and-soon-going-to-college experience. I'd usually have a nice, feel-good conclusion written down here, but I haven't really figured it out myself. I do know that countless people feel what I feel, and I just want you to know that it's totally normal to be afraid of growing old (or growing up). Whether you're 18 or 80 (or any age at all), you'd still be you— that's what matters the most. Just be honest to yourself, and work out your feelings step by step ❤️
That's all I have to say for now. Do leave a comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter :)
Hello hello, I am back after a lonnggg time without posting lol. But now I'm back in business, and will work this blog back into shape (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑ Right now I'm almost three months post high school graduation, and am l i v i ng l i f e. Definitely not planted in front of a screen playing Harvest Moon all day. Nope haha *sweats*
Also, I just turned eighteen! Perhaps "just turned" isn't accurate though... More like, I turned eighteen almost two months ago lol. But the thing is, it doesn't feel any different from when I was a year or two younger. Does that make any sense?
Usually when a girl turns eighteen here in my country ("experiencing legality", as they call it), you get asked the obligatory "Oh, so how does it feel to be eighteen?", or at least something along those lines. I don't know, but ~being an adult~ is such a big deal apparently.
When I was a kid, eighteen certainly seemed old. Being eighteen meant going to college (which was wayyy down the road for my just-turned-grade-one self). It meant having more responsibilities, harder schoolwork, being unable to act like like the child that I was, and being a little closer to death.
I was always uncomfortable with the idea of growing older. Back then, I'd see adults stressing over finances and jobs, and it was all scary. But then again, what child wouldn't dread facing those challenges? That certainly is a justifiable fear. I think any kid would choose playtime over taxes any day. And the way college students would warn me about the terrors of higher education did not help at all.
Looking back to all that, I suppose everything I thought would happen was rather accurate. Yes, as an eighteen year old I'm now going to college. I certainly have had much harder schoolwork (calculus was the death of me), and I'm expected to act my age and be mature.
Perhaps the reason why I still feel like the same old me a couple years ago is because change tends to find its way into our lives in trickles and rivulets. Just like how you wouldn't see immediate changes in a growing plant, you wouldn't really sense big changes in your life until you look back to where you came from.
Except college. You don't slowly realize you are going to college/university. Reality just hits you in the face one day, and you feel this deep pit in your stomach that you won't experience life like it is now ever again. That's how I felt. With all my friends and I parting ways, and especially since we're going to different colleges, it suddenly feels quite lonely. Knowing that I will never be able to experience going to school with the people that made it fun is a reality I'd have to learn to live with.
Thought I guess that is part of being eighteen. And after all of these things, perhaps now I realize that I wasn't afraid of growing older and facing the world— it's that I was afraid of growing up and moving on to something new.
Of course, it'd be rather lonely to part ways with your friends. It'd be lonely (and scary) to face new challenges and take on new responsibilities in new places with new people. When you're already comfortable, it's hard to push yourself to accept sudden changes in life.
At end of the day, there isn't much I can do to make the world bend to my will. Sometimes life just sucks— there are no words I can use to make that sound any prettier. You feel alone, you feel like you're growing old, and you feel like your existence is a mere speck in the universe. In any case, I'm here to tell y'all that it's okay to feel that way. I feel that way too sometimes. We all have our bad days, and sulking and feeling bad is a valid reaction.
Turning eighteen and graduating from high school made me appreciate all the things I missed from it. What can I say, I'm a sentimental clod ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
To be frank, I'm not entirely over high school. Since I haven't started college yet, a good chunk my time is spent mulling over the future and what'll happen to my friends (and myself). Will I be a good adult? Am I ready to face the world? Will I survive college? Will my crush ever like me back?
Well, that's the current state of my turning-eighteen-and-soon-going-to-college experience. I'd usually have a nice, feel-good conclusion written down here, but I haven't really figured it out myself. I do know that countless people feel what I feel, and I just want you to know that it's totally normal to be afraid of growing old (or growing up). Whether you're 18 or 80 (or any age at all), you'd still be you— that's what matters the most. Just be honest to yourself, and work out your feelings step by step ❤️
That's all I have to say for now. Do leave a comment, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter :)
Hello everyone, I go by Cossette— welcome to my blog! I'm a nineteen-year-old Chinese-Filipino law student studying abroad in Australia. I like to obsess over musicals, edgy memes, and general geekery. I spend most of my time sorting through syllabi for my classes, baking cookies, or lurking on Reddit. Since I'm on break from university however, I have also began binge watching lots and lots of shows on Netflix (what's a girl to do, after all?)
I am also that girl who is too emotional for my own good, and has a sad penchant for laughing (at myself, usually). Alas, perhaps my own peculiarity has scared off potential friends, but who cares? Someday, I will find my kin, my madcap ilk. But until then, I'll be sticking around here ┐(︶▽︶)┌
L O V E S: Books My friends Homestuck
D I S L I K E S: Flying monstrosities (get those cockroaches away from me) Scary things The abysmal state of my internet connection
W I S H L I S T: To enjoy Christmas with my friends + family!
Faster internet pls Happiness for everyone More time to read books please
Here are some cool blogs by cool people! Also, link exchange is OPEN! Please feel free to comment on any blog posts to get in touch with me if you'd like to exchange links with each other :)
About The Blog
A description of my little corner of the blogosphere
This digital abode of mine was established back in August 2013 as a requirement for my participation in our high school's blogging club. Thus, I scrambled to create one, The Random Thoughts of A Socially-Awkward Optimist— the very website that you are currently viewing. I've long since quit (not to mention graduated from high school), but typing away my thoughts in this blog is rather therapeutic, and I like thinking that perhaps a smile has made its way onto someone's face because of what I write :)
“Sonder” is probably the best word that would describe all reasons why I maintain this blog. The word can be briefly defined as the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own, and through this blog, I wish to be able to satiate that feeling in other people by retelling my anecdotes, thoughts, and rants, and hopefully I would also be able to lift up spirits along the way.
Life moves on and change is constant. But I want to document my experiences somehow: those ugly-crying moments, existential crises, or tears of joy and sadness. Then once change runs its course, we can all look back at these moments and laugh at our own naiveté. And hopefully, I can do just that by typing it all away in this blog.
The Jukebox
Current aesthetic: quiet holiday mornings, the smell of Christmas in the air
A little disclaimer: I don't own nor make money off of any of these songs, it's all just for a little good fun and mood-setting lol
These are the music playing in the blog. I hope you like listening to it as much as I do ◕ ‿ ◕ Simply click on the title of the song, and it will direct you to where I got it ❤
Books 
My friends 
Homestuck 
More time to read books please 